Soul Art.

Lately I've just wanted to scream.
I can't seem to want to tell people how I feel.
And holding everything in has been making me feel...different.
I'm not sure different how...but I feel confused...I guess.

Over all I also feel I have changed:
I'm lazier-I don't feel like moving.
I'm weak-I feel as if my body has given up and I want to fall over.
I'm thinking-to much on things I could care less on.
Older-I feel like I have gained age that I shouldn't have yet.

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Have you ever had a dream affect you so much, that you start to do things different in a day?
I mean because of going to school, every day has always been the same, which kept
a boring life.
But you knew what was going on, and in touch with life.
But my dreams...they are scary...
they make me look around my school, they make me want to find someone that isn't there.

Wow, that sounds weird...
Lets see...
My dream:
Well it starts out with me going to my ex's house to read a note,
to make sure I have gotten over him,
but I hadn't, so I run to the bathroom.
I slip on a rug, bash my head on a towel rack,
then the sink.
I black out.
When I wake up, I'm in a hospital.
I see Corben, Kerry, Michelle, Anja, Daniel, Clifford, and a few other people.
The only thing was...I didn't remember them.
I looked at their faces clueless to who they all where.
These people who had been close to me, I forget them all.
and then it happened...my sister showed up...I knew who she was.
It was creepy to see her,
I mean she was pretty-
Long black silk hair, Asian, skinny, pretty much a perfect model.
But I could see through her.
And she sat there and talked to me, about everything about these people.
I was so lost as she spoke, but it made sense.

Yeah, in real life...she's not with us.
And that's why I could see through her.

But I feel like she's with me,
and I look for her.

I know this doesn't make any sense,
because it doesn't make sense to me why I try to find my sister in school.
The dream wasn't even in school.

But you know that feeling that someone is watching you.
Yeah, it's there.

Do you think I'm going crazy?
Does this happen when your mood is confused/lost?

Idk, sorry for venting again.
Next blog will be an about people thingy I love to do so much,
and also my goals/dreams for 2010.

Thanks.

Love from,
O-ECS