Walking into walls.

.
.
.
I'm scared.
Worse then I normally am.

I'm not sure if I want to say why...



Also, by the time school is over,
I might be bald.
Yeah, I'm that stress.



You know,
I always made things harder for me.
Which is something I hated about myself.
Well, then I guessed it was because
I like books...
and I put myself in the world of a book.

Which then makes complications.


So, one problem happens to be...

my love life.


I turn it into more then it needs to be.

I feel to be happy...
is to be with someone...
because I have not healed...


but that is not the right reason.
It is a REALLY BAD reason to be with someone.
So, I gave up being with someone at this point.


I can't stand that I haven't healed,
but then again,
I don't know if I will ever heal.

I have to keep moving on though.
That is something I very much have to learn.
I'm going with it will be hard...seeming it is now still.




Anyway...

School...

well it has been the same.
I get to stressed over my grades,
and I'm too busy not paying attention in class
because I have friends.


Or those people I like to call my friends.

Are they really my friends?

I don't think I want to find out.
They say they are there for me,
and that is all I want to hear.

That comfort keeps me somewhat sane.




You know lately I've just wanted to scream...
the only problem is...
still got no one to scream at...


I've been getting mad so fast.

And still everything is making me cry.


I hate this.
It's almost like I have no more control.

I feel like everything has taken a path away from me.


The harder and probably the stressing part...
is trying to feel the opposite,
and trying to pull everything back,
so it feels back to normal.



My new start hasn't gone very well.
Which makes me a little sad.
I'm gonna work on it though.
I will.
I can do it.


Positive thoughts.
:)