Wonderful.

If you asked me to tell you who I was

a year ago,

I would say, something about how much I was still a kid.

a month ago,

I would say, I don't think I could be any happier.

a week ago,

I would tell you, I don't know how to pull myself together.

a day ago,

I would tell you, I'm a whole different person.

I never thought about how life changed.

I mean I thought about moments of the past. Events.

But never how they changed, or really...why.

This one moment a few days ago,

it hit me.

Everything.

And when it hit me,

I knew I needed a change.

Then I happened to end up talking to a friend last night.

She really helped.

We just sent back a forth,

Positive things.

Things we should follow.

So, I went to sleep thinking about everyone and everything.

Corben - why it was a good thing we broke up.

Virginia - why I was put here.

Colorado - why I left.

Kerry - why we fought.

Anja - why we split.

Notebook - why I stay to myself.

Trust - why I was broken about it.

Happiness - what always makes me happy.

Friends - who are they and what they have done.

Path - what choices have I picked.

Love - what my view is on it.

Dreams - what they really mean.

And so much more.

I think at one point are mind tries to go into a alternate world,

because it feels over filled.

And I did just that.

:)

And with that so much changed.

Which surprised me.

I can't say everything changed.

Or that everything is "perfect"

But I was able to tell myself

"there is better things in life."

I was able to smile a real smile today.

and the thought of it was great.

I thought about my loses/drops in friendship.

and

I think that's true.

Just it sounds easier when put like that.

You may always think of them,

but there was a reason for it.

Life is amazing how it works.

No one may ever understand it.

Why we are on this old piece of land holding so much of a past.

It's amazing if you think of it.

There are probably dead people under you house,

from like billion of years ago.

Or well use to be there.

This I did get from The Inky Finger Files.

About me

the one thing I'll post from my notebook.

:)

I am like most teenage girls, but so different as well. I'm an October baby, who is older then most in her grade. I hate looking the same everyday. I'm sick of the pattern we follow everyday of our lives, nothing is new, it just all blends together. I dream big, and I say I follow my dreams, but I hide more. I believe love SHOULD be like in the movies with a happy ending. I think every word has a bigger meaning then everyone uses for it. I cry more then I laugh. I complain more then I am grateful. I love trying to solve things other people have trouble doing. I push myself to far, and I cook with my heart. I dance around in my room when no one is looking. Music feeds my soul. I put myself in more pain or hard spots everyday, which I never seem to try to fix, because I feel it will fix itself. I believe you can't compare yourself to other people, because they aren't you, only you can be you. I say my favorite color is green, but I really don't think I have a favorite color. I'm scared of guys and that why I act the way I do around them. I like to feel higher class, look wise as well. I love making new friends that my friends don't know. No one has ever seen me fully angry. I feel I have less emotions then everyone else. I think I need to lose weight even thought I'm already under. I wish I was a little taller, and I wish I was full Asian. I'm blunt and say things like it is, and don't always mean what I say. I write out lines in my head about life as though it where a book. I can't sing, I don't think I look good in pictures, I have an ego that I TRY not to show. I'm not perfect, I trip over myself a lot, I love jumping on people, I'm a bitch, I'm hyper normally, and I'm also quiet.

I wrote that yesterday, during school.

Looking at it, I could have changed things as of now.

But I didn't.

"I Might Have To Wait

I'll Never Give Up

I Guess It's Half Timing

And The Other Half's Luck

Wherever You Are

Whenever It's Right

You Come Out Of Nowhere And Into My Life

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing

And Baby Your Love Is Gonna Change Me

And Now I Can See Every Possibility."

:D

I'm sure I have a reason for being here.

I wasn't born to just die.

Even now, I have already changed so much in life.

Maybe no for you.

But the people I have met.

If they never met me...think of how life would be different.

maybe even the simplest things like:

'running into me in the hallway, which knocks over all your stuff in your hands which makes you late for class, but this isn't the first time you are late. DETENTION!'

...okay...it could happen. Haha.

I never thought my mind could

"run" like it is now.

It's wonderful!

Yeah that was my word of the day.

Haha.

I'm free.

I did it.

♥

Cheers to making a new start?

♪O-ECS♪